Funerals & Memorials

The death of a loved one, even after a long life well-lived, is painful. It is sad, but a privilege, for us to conduct a funeral or memorial service for you. Often your first contact will have been with the Funeral Director, but the Priest-in-Charge here is happy to speak to you at any time. These guidelines are offered to help you think about the service. Sometimes the person who has died leaves instructions about what they wanted at their funeral. If so, you will probably want to respect their wishes. However, this is not always possible for all sorts of reasons although we can give you some suggestions as to how you might honour their original intention. Where nothing was expressed, the priest will guide you through the planning of the service.

Eulogy and Address

Often the family, would like say some words and share some memories of the deceased, the eulogy. These can be written by the family and spoken by the priest on behalf of the family, or can be given by a family member or friend. The address, normally given by the priest, focuses on the Bible reading that is chosen and relates it to the life and faith of the deceased.

Readings

At least one Bible reading must be chosen. Other readings may also be chosen and these do not have to be from the Bible, although they must be seen and approved by the priest before the service. Asking people to do the readings is a good way of involving children and grandchildren in the service.

Music

We have an excellent organist at St. Peter and St. Paul who is able to accommodate most requests for music. We may also be able to provide a choir if enough notice is given. CDs can be played for a time of reflection during the service. They do not work quite so well for entrance and exit music.

The Churchyard and Garden of Remembrance

Saltwood Churchyard is open for burials and the interment of ashes although this does not mean that everyone can be buried here. However, a funeral service in church with a cremation or burial elsewhere is almost always possible. Those who can be buried here include:

• Those who lived (at the time of their death) in the Parish.
• Those who normally lived elsewhere, but who died in the Parish.
• Those who have a grave space reserved by faculty (or by the burial of a previous family member in a double depth grave). The PCC has recently approved a policy detailing the rare circumstances under which it would support the application for the reservation of a grave space by faculty (the legal process necessary).

Similar rules apply for the interment (burial) of ashes, except that ashes plots can not be reserved in advance. Ashes can only be interred in the Churchyard and not scattered (by anyone).

Memorials

Family members often want a memorial to mark the place of a loved one. There are Diocesan Churchyard Regulations (available in from the link alongside) for the benefit and safety of all, as to the nature of such a memorial. Your Funeral Director or Memorial Mason will give guidance on the process that must be followed. We have a dedicated Churchyard Gang who voluntarily maintain the Churchyard to a very high standard and we respectfully ask you not to make their task harder by introducing unauthorised impedimetia (i.e. anything that has not received express written approval by the Incumbent or Commissary General.)